Grade A 100% Worrywart
There are days when I am a “grade-A 100% worrywart.” I am not proud of it, but I’ve worried with the best of the best worry kings and queens. For instance, just the other night I couldn’t sleep. Why? You guessed it: worry!
I was worrying over a project that had painfully lingered on for months. I couldn’t get it to the finish line. Changes here. Tweaks there. My mind was going 200 miles-per-hour. I couldn’t slow it down. Ergo, no sleep. The “what if’s” felt like they were oozing out of every pore of my slumber-deprived brain.
“What if I don’t get it done?” “What if I do get it done and no one cares?” “What if I get it done and everyone hates it?”
Living in a “what if” world is exhausting, frustrating and just plain unproductive…unless one considers developing large bags under his or her eyes productive. I don’t.
Why did I let these “what if’s” ruin a potentially perfect night sleep? It’s simple. I tried to control the things I had no control over. I tried to play “little g” god instead of handing those out-of-my-control aspects of the project over to God, with the “big G.”
Proverbs 12:25 says, “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Unfortunately, I felt the weight of my anxiety pull me down the rabbit hole of insomnia. I felt defenseless to worry’s pull like a moth drawn to their electrically charged demise.
Sadly, I knew what to do and where to go, but instead, I stayed up all night and inspected the imperfections of the ceiling in my bedroom. Then I began to worry over my future unproductive day because of my lack of sleep. I was on an endless worry cycle I couldn’t get off.
I hope you never have to go through a night like that. It’s not healthy. Don’t let worry ruin your beauty sleep (or in my case, kind-of-beauty sleep). Hand over the worry to God. Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the Lord.” Good advice. Most nights I do this, and I sleep like a baby. It’s a choice, and for some odd reason I chose poorly.
Tonight, though, I look forward to choosing wisely. I expect the bags underneath my bloodshot eyes to dissipate. Rest is coming. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” I choose NOT to play “little g” god tonight. I choose to bask in the restful bliss of my caring God’s arms.
My God knows my name, and my pillows are calling it. There is no need to worry. Tonight, I choose to be a grade-A-100% non-worrywart. God’s got this, and it’s time for me to get some z’s.
David Towner is the Pastor of Openwater Church in Odessa, FL. He has three daughters, Shana, Kari, and Rebekah and four grandsons, Caleb, Cohen, Cade, and Jack.